How to create a lasting bond with your children

It is very common for mothers and fathers to notice that when children reach adolescence, there is no such level of trust as parents want. It is an age of important changes for the children. The first changes are experienced by the body. Then the teenager comes in contact with new social groups, discovers sexuality, and falls in love … Later he will have to make decisions about his future: Who am I? What have I come to do in this life? The parents would like to accompany them at this stage, but many of them find that there is not enough confidence because they have failed to establish a bond with children during childhood. Perhaps these reflections can help you.

lasting bond with children

It is true that we live in a society of hurries, that the time is short, that we are hyperconnected at all times and that the system is becoming more demanding. Still, it must be clear that every child deserves a time of intimacy with Mom and Dad every day.

It is important that you teach your children to express emotions from a very small age. It is a common mistake to say, “Do not cry, it was nothing” when a blow has been struck, or “Brave children do not cry”.

In the same way, you have to start from the base that the children capture all their emotions and, therefore, they have to make an extra effort to show the best, even if they have had a bad day.

You have to put yourself in the place of your children, use a language appropriate for their age and interested in topics that encourage them to talk. If you ask him about what he did today at school, his answer may be brief. If you’re interested in his favorite cartoons or the playtime game, he’ll probably be encouraged more to speak, “What have you played?”, “Did you fall?”

Never lie to them. Even if we try to trick them to protect them or not to give them bad news, they will realize that something is wrong and uncertainty will make it worse. Lies generate mistrust.

It also generates mistrust the failure to keep promises. It is a mistake to create false expectations that will not take place afterwards, only to behave in a certain moment. If we do, our children will feel cheated and manipulated.

Despite the multiple obligations, moms and dads should strive to find those spaces of relationship with each son or daughter. The amount of time is not as important as quality, if we want to create a climate of trust and a lasting bond.